365 Day People Picture Project - Week 1

Week 1 of my 365 Day People Picture Project is now complete! This has been one of the most interesting and happiest weeks in my life.  I knew when I started this project that I could possibly meet some interesting people, but I had no idea how profoundly I would be affected.  Guess what?  Every person we meet, every single day, is interesting and beautiful in their own way.

I was struck with the thought on Thursday, that "I'm happy. I feel really happy!"  I've been overwhelmed with emotions and I've been feeling grateful to be alive.  The pressure of peak season has eased a bit at work and combined with the start of this project, I'm feeling more like my old self again.  I'm happy.

It has been only 7 days but  I've already felt a huge impact from the people I've encountered this week. I have noticed one thing in these few short days.  I feel less nervous approaching a man than I do when approaching a woman. It can feel intimidating to approach a woman. I realize part of the reason that I'm a little nervous approaching women is because I don't want to startle or scare them.  Aside from that reason, I think we ladies can walk around looking completely un-approachable and we don't even realize it.  I think it is difficult for us to let go of our thoughts and while our minds are drifting elsewhere, our bodies and faces can project a look of "stay away."  I think another aspect to it could be that as women, we're always on guard. We have to be, for our own safety.  I'm going to have to figure out how to gain enough confidence to be able to approach more women, but balanced confidence so that I don't become intimidating or annoying.

These pictures are "fresh daily."  I'm not stockpiling photos. Part of the challenge for me is finding the courage to approach a stranger, and when I do find that nerve, it has been quite rewarding.  Five out of these first seven days have been pictures of strangers but I started out with an easy one.

Day 1 - My Husband

Day 1 - my Husband

I was able to ease into the project knowing that I was going to have dinner with my in-laws on day one.  I knew I already had 4 potential subjects so I wasn't too stressed on day 1.  I was hoping to get a perfect picture of my husband, brother-in-law and father-in-law but I just didn't get the right snap.  It's ok. It was only appropriate to open the project with a photo of my husband. We've been married for 19 years and he's my best friend. He "gets me" and he still loves me anyway.

I have an extremely tight schedule with work and training for the Portland Marathon, so the majority of the pictures from Monday through Friday will be taken on my way to work in the morning.  I had made it all the way to work on day 2 and hadn't been able to summons the courage to stop and ask a stranger if I could take their picture. I was near-meltdown, thinking I was already a huge failure and I was only able to make it 1 day into the project when all of the sudden, just a few footsteps away from the front door to my office, a nice young man named Trenton just happened to be walking by.

Day 2 - Trenton

day2

Trenton was wearing headphones and my repeated attempts to get his attention were ignored so I sort of had to run after him and tap him on the shoulder.  He removed one of his ear phones and I gave him the biggest smile I could muster and said "Hi!  Are you in a hurry?"  I was so nervous that I was actually shaking.  I know I totally stumbled over the words but somehow I was able to explain that I had challenged myself to a 365 day picture project and asked if he'd be my #2.  I was completely surprised, but he said yes without hesitation.

I asked if he wanted to share a quote and I could tell that he really wanted to say something meaningful but having caught him completely off-guard, he was stumped. Trenton was on his way to work when I stopped him, "another day another dollar,"  he said happily.  Trenton made my day!

Day 3 - Bailey

day3bw

Bailey is day 3. She was loading up her car in the parking lot of a motel when I spotted her. I had actually first spotted a professional-looking young lady in a great pencil skirt and blouse as she was walking down the street. I pulled my car over to the side of the road to take her picture but  I could just tell that she didn't want to be bothered.  Feeling a little bummed, I turned around and noticed Bailey.  We were in sort of a bad neighborhood so I expected her to be extremely cautious of me but she was super friendly.  She was hurried, but friendly.  She and her friend were on their way to the coast.  I asked  if she had any dreams and she said she wants to be a Psychologist.  I wonder if she was analyzing me?

After I took this shot, I realized there had been a shadow on her face.  I explained there was a shadow and asked her to step to the side for another try.  It was my first time giving direction to a subject! Wow! I was feeling like a photographer!  Bailey is stunning. It doesn't look like she's wearing one bit of make-up and she still just radiates beauty.  Although I did end up getting a better shot without the shadow, I was drawn to this photo and chose it over the others.  Bailey wants to be a psychologist some day so the shadow seems appropriate. Psychology is about shedding light on the shadows of our minds.

Day 4 - Anna

day4

Anna is day 4.  I pulled into a park-and-ride bus stop on my way to work just knowing there had to be someone there willing to let me take a picture.  It was peak rush hour time so I figured I had really good odds.  I immediately spotted an older bearded gentleman who looked like a gnome incarnate.  He rejected me. My first rejection…from a gnome.  I was crushed.  I thought I had been friendly but he still said no.  I felt so defeated that I was just going to leave. I was walking back to my car when I saw Anna as she was waiting for a bus.   Anna is a DJ and you can check her out on sound cloud.  I loved her colorful hair and she was just such a sweetie!

 Day 5 - "Anonymous Heroes"

Day 5 - Anonymous Heroes

"Anonymous Heroes" are day 5.  I named them "Anonymous Heroes" because they're EMT's and, well, they save lives!  Talk about bashful!  I felt nervous approaching them. They have intense jobs and I didn't want to get in the way if they got a call or anything.  But I really wanted to get a cool picture of them in their uniforms and looking through their window.   I didn't exactly capture the look I wanted but that's because I'm inexperienced…things like this will improve with time.  The passenger was so embarrassed.  Before this shot, he was bright red and they weren't going to do it.  I explained that, technically, I was a person in need and they would really be helping me.  When I presented it that way, they couldn't refuse. It is in their nature to help people.  For a couple of guys who are normally on the giving end of help, the quote I did manage to get from the passenger as I was taking his picture was "HELP ME!"

Day 6 - Joey

day6

Joey is day 6.  Joey had invited me to tag along to a concert/movie in the park to watch a Cure cover band. I arrived pretty early and I was glad I did. It was the best people-watching ever! If I hadn't imposed a rule on myself against stockpiling photos - I could have taken enough pictures to last for the whole year! I should have known that a Cure cover band would attract some of Portland's most interesting and beautiful people.

Joey is an artist, drummer, vegan, and he actually sewed a shark outfit for his little dog to wear. He just wrapped up a show in LA and he currently has a few of his paintings of Sharon Tate hanging in the former home she shared with Roman Polanski, the home where she was murdered. I won't tell you about the intense experience he had there, in the hopes he'll write about it on his blog. Let's just say, if you didn't believe in ghosts before, you certainly would if you heard his story.  (Joey's wife is a constant source of inspiration and is basically the spark that helped ignite my little Miss Ellanea flame.)

Day 7 - "Bruce"day7

"Bruce" is day 7.  I'm really stumped on this one. I'm at a loss and don't know what I can and should share.  It's a fun story, but I just don't want to get the guy in trouble and I feel like I owe my subjects a certain level of confidentiality/privilege.  Bruce, if you ever read this, I'm sorry if I've over-shared.

I had just completed 21 brutal miles on my favorite trail at the lake.  It was the slowest, ugliest, 21 miles in all of my training. I was having a horribly off day.  It was another one of those times where the only reason I was able to finish is because there was absolutely no other way around it. I had to get back to my car.  I was exhausted and stressed knowing that I still had to find a subject for the day.  I had made up my mind that I was just going to ask Chase, a guy who does Kayak Rentals at the end of the trail, to be my subject. If Chase wasn't there, I was just going to ask whoever was working that day.  I dragged myself across the pretend finish line (the kayak rental station) and they were absolutely swamped. I could hardly even stand at that point. I was dizzy and torn up.  There was no way I could wait for them to finish checking in all of the soon-to-be-kayakers.  Just then, I saw a beautiful older woman.  She had beautiful eyes and I thought she would make for a striking black and white photo,given her dark hair, beautiful eyes, and beautiful complexion.  I made it back to my car to collect my camera when I realized…I couldn't move another step.  Although she was only about 50 yards away, that was 49 more than I could walk at that point.  Did i mention, those 21 miles tore me up?

Plan B.  Knowing that I didn't even have the strength to walk back to the woman, I decided that I was going to ask one of the people in the SUV parked right next to me. They looked like they were ready to leave so I had to act quickly.  I quickly blurted out the question to the person standing closest to me, asking if he had time to let me take a picture? I briefly explained my picture project and he actually seemed genuinely interested. He said he didn't have time.  They had to leave because they had to get to the airport.  I was listening to the almost-rejection but still readying my camera. I explained it would only take a second…I could just take the picture right there in the parking lot. Here's the part where I don't know if I'm breaking our "privilege."  His next question stuck me as odd. He said, "do I have to give you my real name? I can give you my fake name, but not my real name."  I expect that many people throughout this project will give me "a" fake name but he specifically said, "my fake name" as though he has practice with a pseudonym. He was super nice and actually sort of encouraging and interested in the project. He explained that he can't use his real name because he would get in trouble with his job.    He told me his name is "Bruce."  By then, the family he was with noticed that poor "Bruce" was about to become my subject #7 and they started to check things out.  A very nice lady came around the SUV to where we were standing and said "he's famous."  "Bruce" minimized her statement and said, "well, almost-famous."  I apologized and said I didn't recognize him. They had just finished Kayaking on the lake and were going to have dinner before heading to the airport to send "Bruce" back home to the east coast.

Trying to put Bruce at ease, I  attempted to make friendly chit-chat (even though I felt like I could collapse at any moment) and I learned they were first going to have steamer clams for dinner before taking Bruce to the airport.  Bruce specified, "steamers and oreos."  I asked if he would like to be quoted, or if he could be quoted, and he said, "I love this dog, June."  I thought he was making fun of me at that point, but then when I saw June, she was quite a pretty little pup and she was definitely a dog worthy of being praised by the  famous or near-famous "Bruce."

I had a lot of fun with "Bruce" and his family/friends.  They were all super friendly and and I even gave them my card.  I was surprised by how patient they were considering they were under time constraints to leave.  I was even more surprised and struck by how nice they were to me and how much genuine interest they seemed to have taken in the project.  I was sweaty, smelly, dirty and gross. I tried not to get too close and at one point, I apologized, explaining I had just finished 21 miles. Not only were they encouraging of the project, but then they encouraged me for that accomplishment. Wow, talk about nice folks!

I left that interaction thinking about the cliche, "strangers are just friends we haven't met yet."  My entire week has felt a little like this.  We pass people by each day and if we took even just a moment to learn their story, how differently we may feel about others and ourselves.  There are really good people out there. They are kind and patient, they are heroes in disguise, or even in a hero's uniform.  The people I've met this week (and the two subjects I already knew) have given me the best week I've ever had.  51 more weeks of this?  I'm in!

If you were one of my subjects from this week and happen to be reading this. Thank you. Thank you for your time, and for being willing to open yourself up to me.  I'm wishing you the best!

NOTE: If you'd like to follow along on instagram, i'm "missellanea" and I'll post pictures daily. Thank you for coming along on week #1!

Word Wednesday - Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty  [ser-uhn-dip-i-tee]  

noun

1.  an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2.  good fortune; luck: the serendipity of getting the first job she applied for.

serendipity

I had nearly talked myself out of starting my 365 Day People Picture Project challenge but I had a moment of serendipity while I was out walking on one of my favorite trails.  I did 14 miles on Saturday and since I don't listen to an iPod on my walks/hikes, I spend a lot of time thinking.  The start of my walk was spent trying to talk myself back into the challenge.  I was thinking about everything from how I would find my subjects, to how I was going to pack a camera and laptop around every day for the next year, along with my lunch bag, gym bag, and purse.

I was near mile 8 and I had been thinking about the Epiphanie Belle camera bag/purse I had picked up on ebay, and totally love, but I wishing that I also had the larger Clover style bag which could accommodate a laptop along with a camera body and lenses.  I was so bummed and stressed and thinking that I shouldn't start the project until I get the larger Clover bag.  I knew I was creating one more obstacle to prevent me from starting the challenge. I came to my senses and convinced myself that I can easily get by with the smaller bag, and a tote for my laptop, until I have it in my budget to purchase the larger bag.

Keep in mind, I'm out on a forested trail, fairly early in the morning.  It's not out in the middle of nowhere, but the beauty of the trail is that it makes you feel as though you're out in an isolated forest.  As I'm having this mental debate, I'm rounding a corner which takes me from an area of the trail which is pretty dense with trees and then enter a cemented area which is actually a private boat ramp for the fancy-schmancy homes in the area and all of the sudden I see it…an Epiphanie Clover bag right there at the start of the boat ramp. WHAT?  How could this very unique and specialized bag be sitting right in front of me just as I'm thinking of it?

boatlaunch

I looked up to find its human and saw a woman taking pictures of the lake.  I asked her, "excuse me…is this an epiphanie bag?"  I knew it was. I've been obsessing over them for the past month or so.  She said "yes, feel free to take a look."  I poked around a little and told her I didn't want to break anything. She had several lenses and was obviously a professional. She came over and we chatted for several minutes about how great the bags are. It turned out that she is a wedding photographer.  I told her I was thinking about starting a 365 day photo challenge, explained I'm not a photographer and really don't even know how to use my camera properly, and asked if she gives private lessons. I liked her immediately. She made me feel completely comfortable and I thought she would make an excellent teacher.  She said that she didn't give lessons but her husband does and she gave me his card.  I could have visited with her all day but I realized that a very patient young couple, her clients, had appeared and were ready for their session.

Talk about a lucky discovery! Serendipity!  In one moment, right as I'm having in internal debate on whether or not to start the project, I run into a professional photographer whose husband  happens to give private photography lessons and I get to see the bag I've wanted in person. (I determined it is exactly what I need to help keep me organized for the project.)    I figure her husband must be as friendly as she, so I already know that I'd like to take a few lessons from him.  I don't even feel the need to shop around.  Not only was this encounter serendipitous, but it was also a big fat neon sign. I'm on the right path.

Meeting the photographer at that very moment just reinforced that everything is going to work out as long as I have the courage to try.

365 Day People Picture Project

I've had an idea floating around in my head for a few months and, by now, the thought should have subsided if it was just another one of my passing ideas. Since the thought has not diminished, but rather, has elevated into a burning desire, then I know I need to implement my little idea. The thought that has been gnawing at my mind is a photography challenge. I want to challenge myself to take a picture of a person, every single day, for 1 year. I will instagram the photo daily and then post a recap of the collection of photos from the week, here, on Saturday or Sunday.

There are just a few major hurdles in my way:

  1. I'm not a photographer!
  2. I'm not ready!
  3. I don't have the right lenses.
  4. I don't know how to use my camera properly.
  5. I'm scared nobody will look at my pictures.
  6.  I'm more terrified that somebody will look at my pictures!
  7. I'm afraid I'll be horrible.
  8. I don't have photoshop or aperture.
  9. Did I mention, I'm not a photographer?
  10. I'm afraid I might not make progress as a photographer.
  11. I'm afraid I'll do it for a few days or weeks and then decide I made a mistake or lose interest.
  12. I'm scared circumstances could cause me to miss a day.
  13. My blog/website isn't ready - it looks so amateur!
  14.  I'm afraid people won't let me take their picture.
  15. My time is limited and I'm afraid I won't find anyone to photograph. I'm a loner who works hard all day and when I'm not at work, I'm walking/hiking (usually alone) in a forested park. I see more trees and animals, than I see actual people!
  16. I don't know how to even start a project like this and how to efficiently instagram and blog the recap of the week's collection of photographs.

There - that's 16 really good reasons why I "shouldn't" challenge myself to this project. When I evaluate my list of hurdles, it forces me to realize two things; If I don't challenge myself to this project, I will have let my fears paralyze me and I will have let my self-imposed desire for perfection prevent me from starting what could turn into a very fun and rewarding experience.

I remember the message from Shauna, Kat, and Gala of The Blogcademy; "Perfectionism is a form of procrastination." I think a lot of us have this flawed M.O. in that we only want to do that at which we're good and we want to be good immediately. (sometimes we want to be good, even before we'll try something.) We want things to be perfect right out of the gate but we ignore the fact that most of the time, things need to simmer and evolve. I didn't just declare one day that I was going to do a marathon and then do a marathon the next day. I had to start. I had to start right where I was at that moment, and I had to train. I had to start at nearly 300 lbs and my first "training" was the decision to walk to Starbucks instead of drive there. It took a lot of time and a lot of training before I evolved from the 300 pounder who walked to Starbucks one day, to someone who had finished a marathon.

Think of the works and people you admire. They didn't start out being perfect. They just started. This video is long but well worth the watch. This is a video of Darren Rowse (of problogger and digital photography school) and his presentation at the World Domination Summit. Darren Rowse wasn't "ready" when he started. He just started.

http://vimeo.com/70159694

THE REASON: Why am I challenging myself to this 365 day project? What a perfect way to learn photography! I'm skipping the part where I stick my toes in the shallow end and instead, I'll just dive right in. I'll get to learn from my errors as I go along, while I'm learning from online resources and I'll enlist some help with either private or group lessons after the Portland Marathon in October.

There's another reason I want to challenge myself to this project and it's a little deeper than just learning how to use my camera. In the few short months that I've had my camera and in the few photos that I've snapped, I've realized that for the first time in my life, I'm really truly seeing beauty in all people and all things. I'm seeing things I would have never seen before. It took looking at the world through a lens to really see beauty. We all know a pretty face when we see one, but when I'm looking through the lens, it shows me beauty in everything around me. It is there. Always. Sometimes I may not see it at first but what I've realized in my limited experience with photography, is that if you can't see the beauty, then try changing your perspective. I've learned that if I don't see a good shot, then I need to get a little closer, or perhaps take a step back. I need to view things from a different angle, or perhaps in a different light. The beauty is there, it's just up to me to see it. It's just like life…if you don't like how things are looking, change your perspective. This challenge is going to train and reinforce in me the trait to first look for the beauty in the people I encounter in a day instead of noticing their flaws.

Another reason for this project - I need to put an end to my lone wolf ways. Over the years, I've noticed I'm really allowing myself to become a loner. Right now, I think I spend a healthy amount of time alone with myself but any more "me time" and I think the balance between time spent with others and time spent alone would be off and tipped in the wrong direction. This project is going to force me to get out in the world and interact with people and put myself in environments other than work, my favorite trails, and the mall.

THE RULES: I've given myself a few rules or guidelines but since this is my own self-imposed project, I'm going to let myself re-define the rules at any time, should I decide it is critical to the survival of the 365 day challenge.

The challenge starts today: Sunday, August 11, 2013.

  • Pictures will be fresh daily. I will not stockpile images for use at a future time.
  • I will maintain a balance between pictures of strangers and pictures of friends and family. Initially, I was planning to do only strangers (or non-friends/family) but I've realized I have some very special people in my life and I'd just love to take their picture.
  • I will instagram the photos daily, at no set time, and post the week's collection of photos on either Saturday or Sunday.
  • The upside of not having Photoshop or Aperture, is that my pictures will start out fairly organic. I know how to use a few editing tools in iPhoto and I'm definitely going to have fun with the filters in instagram and the other photo editing apps, but other than experimenting and having fun with those filters, I don't know how to do any true retouching.
  • The daily picture isn't limited to just one single person. The daily photo might have more than just one subject.
  • If I miss a day, the project and the year starts over. This challenge is for a streak of 365 daily photos.

So, while I may have 16 really good reasons why I shouldn't start this project, I have 3 really good reasons why I should.

  1. I have a camera.
  2. I have a burning desire.
  3. I have to start somewhere.

If you'd like to follow along with the project, check in here on the blog or you can also follow me on Instagram. I'm missellanea and I will tag the pictures from this project as: #365daypeoplepictureproject

If you follow me or check in on me from time to time, thank you! I think we're going to have some fun together.

What do you think? Would you like to challenge yourself to a 365 day photo challenge, or any other type of year-long challenge?

 

Word Wednesday - Commence

  To begin; start.

com·mence

 

verb (used without object), verb (used with object), com·menced, com·menc·ing.

to begin; start.

My training for the 2013 Portland Marathon has officially commenced! I just registered for the Portland Marathon on Saturday.

As soon as I crossed the finish line of last year's marathon, I was determined to do it again this year.  I missed my goal, by a lot, and I wanted to come back strong and better my time this year.

The St. John's Bridge  marks the half-way point in the Portland Marathon.  Photo by: My friend Molly

I confess. I'm nervous as hell and getting a late start this year. Things haven't been going as planned. I've had some setbacks and I've been agonizing over the decision of whether or not I should do the marathon this year, or just skip it. I've continued to walk since the last half-marathon that I did in April, but nowhere near the distances I normally put in when training for a marathon so I can't even really call it "training."

The Portland Marathon is nearly sold out and I knew I had to make a decision soon.  Apparently my indecision was putting off some major vibes because just as I was about to make the decision to skip it, two friends contacted me within about 36 hours of each other. First, my friend, Molly, sent me a Facebook message telling me that she had just registered and asked if I was in this year.  Then, shortly after receiving Molly's message, I received another Facebook message from my friend, Shannon, asking if we were going to do the Portland Marathon this year?! Wow!  Talk about perfect timing!  They swooped in at the perfect time and saved me from myself. I'm registered and I'm going for it!

Up until the moment I registered, I was feeling as though my body was falling to pieces.  I didn't think my body could hold it together enough to last another 26.2.  As a result of not maintaining a strict training schedule, I've gained back a bunch of the weight I had lost, which means one more added challenge. But guess what?  As soon as I made the decision to commit to the marathon and register, I felt an immediate shift in my attitude and I regained confidence in myself and in my body.  Yes, I'm starting over.  Yes, I'm getting a late start. Yes, it might hurt a little more this year than it did last.  But, the day after I registered I set out to do 14 miles, which was the official commencement of my marathon training, and I felt a renewed sense of strength and determination. I felt pretty darn good, actually.

I had been agonizing over this for weeks on whether or not I could complete another marathon. My indecision was holding me back and nearly halted my training.  It turns out, all I needed was a little encouragement from my friends and to register, and that was just the motivation I needed to start my real training again.

Is there something that you need to start, or start over? No matter what it is, you can do it. Commence!

 

 

Word Wednesday - Simplify

 

simplify

sim·pli·fy

verb (used with object), sim·pli·fied, sim·pli·fy·ing.

to make less complex or complicated; make plainer or easier: to simplify a problem.

"Simplify" is one of those buzzwords that we've been hearing for the past couple of decades, but have you ever set out to truly simplify your life and surroundings?  The first assignment we received in the Entrepreneur Workshop for Women, taught by      Stephanie Lynn, was to simplify our life in three ways.  The driving point that Stephanie made was that in order to prepare our lives for greatness, we had to first clear our lives of the clutter and the things which caused us stress.  It hit me…we have to prepare for greatness!  Of course, everybody knows that we feel better and function better when the house is clean and orderly, but we can simplify in ways which are even more strategic than a spotless house. (which, mine is definitely not. yet.)

I felt like I had so much in my life that needed simplification, I wasn't even sure where to start.  Here are the questions I had to address to help me prioritize my immediate needs for simplification.

-What are my time-suckers?

-What causes me to run late for work?

-Where am I wasting money?

-What is interrupting the flow of my day?

-What are the frustrations that nearly bring me to tears or to the point were I'm swearing?

 

The answers to these questions were primarily centered around my morning routine of getting ready for work in the morning.  The same silly little problems were causing me a great deal of stress, wasting limited time, and had even caused issues for the mister. (Looking for lost items, trying to figure out what to wear, trying to locate what I decide to wear, and spending too much time getting ready in the morning.)

Here are the three things I did to simplify my life to complete the assignment, and a few more tips that I've learned the hard way.

 

I MADE A HOME FOR MY WALLET AND KEYS:

Wasting time looking for my misplaced wallet or keys, has nearly brought me to tears.  Actually,  I had a near melt-down one day because I was so frustrated at myself for having misplaced my keys.  This is pretty ridiculous.  Why was it so hard for me to keep track of these things?  I finally made the declaration that I would always put my keys and wallet in the front pocket of my purse.  The front pocket of my purse was going to be their forever home.  My husband would reminded me if he would find them elsewhere.  I've finally ritualized the habit of putting both my keys and my wallet in the front pocket, I now do it automatically.   If I get my wallet out to make a purchase online, I return it to my purse immediately.  I've tried the key hook or basket in the past, but the front pocket works best for me. It was simply a matter of stating out loud that this is the way things are going to be from now on, and then sticking to it.

 

CUT DOWN ON MAKE-UP AND MAKE-UP ROUTINE:

This was a huge, drastic change.  It may sound like something very simple, but it was a huge step for me.  I can admit, and confess, I'm somewhat addicted to make-up and other girly products.  My mom is a hair stylist so I've loved make-up and hair products since I was a child. I did a three-part make-up simplification.

1 - I cancelled my Birchbox subscription and my subscription to the BareMinerals eyeshadow club. This sounds silly, but I was actually sad to cancel these subscriptions. (all the more reason to do so.)  The Birchbox subscription is a monthly club in which they send a package of sample sized make-up, hair product, and other fun goodies.  The price was only $10 per month, but I was starting to accumulate a big box of product that I wasn't going to use and had no intention of ordering in a full size.  The bareMinerals eye shadow club is actually a very good program and the only reason I cancelled, is because I've finally accumulated more eye shadow than one girl could ever possibly use.  And, I've finally reached the point where I could actually say that "I have enough."  The bareMinerals program was just a little over $30 and they ship 3 full sized eye shadows and a brush, every three months.  In canceling the two subscriptions, not only did I reclaim some shelf space, but it will be a savings of $210 per year.

2 -  I tossed anything that didn't fit inside my train case.  (this does not include skin care.)  I realize that a train case full of make-up is still more than a girl needs, but it was very good progress for me.

3 - I simplified my make-up routine and will continue to do so for the rest of the summer.  I use to waste a lot of time going through my entire make-up collection, trying to figure out how I wanted to wear my make-up on any given day.  My work is so busy right now, I need to get out of the house as fast as I can and get to work. I think it is still important to look put together, but I've been wearing as minimal make-up as possible, while still looking like I took the time to pull myself together in the morning.

traincase

TACKLED THE SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE "STORAGE" ROOMS:

Over the years, two of the spare bedrooms had become catch-all rooms to the point where they couldn't even function as guest rooms or even as a comfortable office.  We didn't need the rooms for anything, so they basically became storage.  (Storage is a nice way of saying they were the room sized equivalents of a "junk drawer".)  Part of the contributing factor to always losing my keys and wallet, is that I didn't really have a place to call my own.  My clothes were spread out over two closets and a wardrobe rack and it was impossible for me to get organized.  We needed to get the spare rooms back into functioning order so that we could get the rest of the house to be like we want. We emptied both rooms, purged what we didn't need or want,  put in new flooring and painted, and now I finally have my very own closet/changing room/office.  I'm minimizing the effort that went into clearing these two rooms.  This was a huge undertaking and one we had been dreading for a long time.  I'm intentionally minimizing the effort in order to be encouraging. If you're avoiding your own junk drawer or junk room, just make the decision to simplify and you'll be pleased with how quickly things come together.    We make things out to be so difficult in our minds but when we finally make up the mind to do something, it is never as bad as we thought it would be.  We just have to start. We spend more time dreading something than we spend actually doing some tasks.

I've continued to be aware of areas in which I can simplify my life and make little improvements each and every day.  One thing I've realized, ironically, is that sometimes in order to simplify, we actually need "more".  This is counterintuitive in that most of the time when we think about simplifying, we think of eliminating. (like the giant room-clearing project.)  However, there are times when in order to help your life run more smoothly, you may need to add "duplicates" of certain items so that you can have things in multiple locations.

-Stock your gym-bag with duplicate necessities so that you don't always have to transfer items back and forth from home and to the gym.  For me, this mean't buying another hair dryer, skin care products, and filling a make-up bag that would be specifically for my gym-bag.  The duplicate grooming items would stay in my gym-bag and I wouldn't have to give it another thought.

-Wear only one kind of athletic socks.  I now only wear one type and color of athletic socks.  (if you're curious, here they are.)  I no longer waste time looking for mates.  They're all mates!

-Follow the instructions that you give to your kids. (set out your clothes for the next day and prepare a lunch.)  I hear funny stories from friends who have children that their kids are pretty self-sufficient in the mornings but it's the parents who are running around in the mornings trying to put together their own outfits and pack their own lunch.

-Buy multiples of the apparel items that you love.  I wear black leggings several times a week. Instead of constant laundry, I now have about 10 pair of leggings. I never have to do a last-minute load of laundry. I always have a clean pair ready to wear.  The same goes basics such as tanks, camis, t-shirts, and even the headbands I wear when working out.

-If it's broken, fix it. Immediately.  Don't complicate your life with silly little broken items that can then become big broken items.  My car remote became separated from the rest of the keychain because of a broken screw.  If I had troubles keeping track of my keys before, this situation could have caused a very expensive nightmare.  I dealt with the broken key chain for a good month until I finally realized that if I didn't fix the darn thing, I was going to lose either the remote or the key, most likely, when the the car was locked.  I purchased the car without a spare key.   The expense in replacing the remote and/or paying for a pop-a-lock would have been a few hundred dollars. Finally, I made it a point to spend the time to find the right sized screw and fix the remote.  The screw and a new battery for the remote came to a grand total of $6, and took about 10 minutes of my time.  (and a month worth of losing either the key or the remote and then stressing about it.)

-Get a wallet that is a contrasting color from your purse.  I've always purchased black wallets to go in my black purse and sometimes I'd waste time looking for my wallet when it was already in my purse, right where it was supposed to be. A brightly colored wallet has now solved that problem. (that, and the fact that my wallet now only goes in one spot - has pretty much eliminated any issues of a misplaced wallet.)

-Use the right "tool" for the job.  When I first decided that I wanted to start a blog, I would pack my purse, lunch bag, gym bag, camera bag, and laptop bag, to and from work each day.  It got to the point where I wouldn't bring my camera anywhere because I couldn't pack everything around with me.  I missed out on a ton of opportunities that I can never get back.  I just discovered the Epiphanie bags!  They're the answer to every camera-packing girl's dream!  I'm so excited for mine to arrive because a camera is critical to having a successful blog. (you'll notice, I'm really lacking on photos which leads to a lack of content. It's a much needed area of improvement for me.)  If you find yourself saying, "there's got to be an easier way," take a moment and google it.  The "easier way" probably exists and if it doesn't, hey - there's your great business idea! I discovered the Epiphanie bags by googling "camera bag purse," and there it was!

 

-Solve the problems that are sucking away your time!  This is a silly little example but taking the pictures for the Word Wednesday word of the day was quite laborious. I stored all of the letters in a single box.  It would take forever to dig out the appropriate letters, of differing colors, to spell out the day's word. I knew it was a time-sucker so I tried to figure out how I could do this more efficiently. It became apparent that I needed to keep the letters already-sorted.  Such a simple little solution  - I purchased a craft storage container and separated the letters alphabetically.  What, in your life, is sucking away your time, and is there a way you can improve on the efficiency?  The answers are all around, if we just take a moment to identify that there's a problem to begin with.

simple organization tricks can cut down on so much wasted time.

I hope that you have a renewed view of the process of simplifying your life and things around you.  I used to think of it as a chore, but now I realize there is more to it than that.  Clearing our life of the things which are slowing us down and causing us stress, will ready us to welcome in all of the wonderful new things that we're all working so hard for.  Sometimes it is as simple as cleaning out a junk drawer or junk room, and sometimes it may be as difficult as clearing out a few people from our lives.

What are ways you've simplified that I haven't thought of?  I'd love to hear your tips!

Word Wednesday - Contrarian

contrarian contrarian

noun

a person who takes an opposing view, especially one who rejects the majority opinion, as in economic matters.

I've mentioned a few times that I intentionally surround myself with positive and motivated people who leave me feeling recharged and enthusiastic by merely being in their presence. (I'd like to hope that our energy exchange is mutual and that I also help encourage those people in some way.)

Having just finished the audio book, "The Art of Non-Conformity," by Chris Guillebeau,  I've realized that many of the people I find so inspiring, are contrarians.

I'd like to clarify what I mean by contrarian as it can have quite the opposite, negative, connotation.  I'm not speaking of a contrarian as a person who will take the opposing position simply for the sake of an argument or simply to get a reaction.   We all know those kinds of people and at it's core, I don't think the word contrarian is supposed to be so negative.

Rather, I'd like to think of a contrarian as one who follows their heart, and their gut, even when everyone else arounds them tells them something is foolish, wrong, or that something can't be done.

Since reading "The Art of Non-Conformity, I've been thinking about people who are living life in somewhat of an unconventional fashion; artists, musicians, writers, entrepreneurs and the otherwise self-employed.  You know, the people who were probably told several times, "don't quit your day job." Well, these contrarians have managed to carve out wonderful lives for themselves without the security of having an employer.  I love my job and and although my life is more conventional and traditional, I'm inspired by the "non-conformists" to pursue my burning desire - which is to write a screen play. If they can be brave enough to pursue their dreams without a safety net and when all the odds are against them,  then I have no excuses. I have the pleasure of having a "day job" that I love, and a schedule that will allow me the time to write in the evenings.  The only thing that has been stopping me is my own self-doubt.

Think of the contrarians in your life and embrace them.  We can learn from them if we let their courage serve as inspiration.

Word Wednesday - Respite

Respite - a short period of rest or relief from something difficult res·pite

noun, verb, res·pit·ed, res·pit·ing.

noun

1. a delay or cessation for a time, especially of anything distressing or trying; an interval of relief: to toil without respite.
2. temporary suspension of the execution of a person condemned to death; reprieve.
verb (used with object)

3. to relieve temporarily, especially from anything distressing or trying; give an interval of relief from.
4. to grant delay in the carrying out of (a punishment, obligation, etc.)

 

There are times in life when things become so stressful, all we want to do is escape on a tropical vacation. Ironically, it is often the most stressful times in life when we're least able to jet away to an island paradise.

It's taken me a while, but I've realized that vacation is a state of mind. You may not be able to physically jet away from stress, but you can provide yourself with respite from the day-to-day stressors by going on vacation…in your mind. If we give ourselves enough self care and mental breaks, we can cope with everything our busy world gives us and still keep our sanity.

When training for our first marathon, my buddies and I hit a real turning point the first time we broke 20 miles. I'm not saying that everything leading up to that point was easy. It definitely wasn't, but there was something about the day we broke 20 miles that nearly broke us in the process.

As we were approaching 20 miles, I was feeling as though I needed to take a short break to sit down, stretch, and fill up my water bottle. One of my training buddies, Sandra, was 100% in agreement with that strategy.  We both felt like the only way we were going to finish our miles that day was if we gave ourselves a break.   Our other training buddy, Barbara, disagreed with that plan 100%.  She was convinced that if we stopped, we wouldn't continue. We'd then have to hitchhike back to our car because we didn't have bus or taxi fare.  Barbara is normally the jokester of the group and typically brings humor to even the most dire of situations.  That day, she was dead set against stopping and she found no humor in any of our jokes.   In order for her to finish, she had to dig down so deep, she found a part in her that I didn't even know existed.  She dug down deep, got angry, and she just blasted on down the trail, telling us she'd see us at the car.  We just had to watch her dust as she blew past us and we had no choice but to kick it in and follow.  We didn't get our respite.  We had to keep going.

It was on that long distance day that I realized I  had a choice on how I could respond to that situation. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cuss. I still wanted to stretch. I wanted to cry some more. I seriously didn't think I could make it.  I know Sandra was feeling the same way, but we kept going.  (ok, so, maybe there was some cussing.) How does one keep going when every cell in your body tells you that you must STOP?!?   I couldn't stop my body, but I could give my mind some respite.  It is in those situations where a little bit of healthy detachment is what helps to push you through the rough patches.  We had to keep up with Barbara. We had to keep going. Barbara was right - we couldn't stop. She knew it and she had to make herself angry to push through.  The trick to getting through that day and those last few miles, was that I sent my mind on little vacations whenever I would start to think that I would collapse.  I couldn't obsess about every pain in my body. Instead, I allowed my brain to take momentary respite when the pain became too great.  It still takes effort to concentrate on form and pace, but whenever my mind would want to give into the temptation to stop, I allowed my mind to drift away, even for just a few moments at a time. Had I focused on the pain my body was feeling, I wouldn't have been able to keep going.

Had we taken the actual physical break when we wanted to, like we thought we needed to, we may not have finished that day and it's possible it would have discouraged us from even doing the marathon.  That day was as much about conditioning our minds as it was about conditioning our bodies.

Normal life stressors aren't quite as physically painful as that long distance day, but they can be "painful" in different ways.  Here are a few tricks I use to go on vacation in my mind and how I give myself respite in little ways each day.

-Exercise! (my preference is for a walk/hike, in nature or a park.)

Spend time in nature to recharge body, mind and spirit.

-Sit down to eat, no matter how busy you are! (The other day, I was feeling quite stressed at work.  To give myself a real break, I put my lean cuisine meal on an actual plate and sat down on our beautiful patio and ate my pathetic lunch on a real plate, with a real fork, and pretended that I had all the time in the world.  I felt recharged after my lunch break and I was ready to take on the rest of the day,)

-Meditate/Pray - or even take a moment to express gratitude for all that you have and for the beautiful earth around you.

-Enjoy a sunrise or a sunset, and feel gratitude for being alive to appreciate the beauty

Spend time near water, appreciate the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, and feel gratitude for our beautiful earth.

-Spend time near water. (I love to walk near the lake, sit and admire the river, or even spending time near a man-made fountain is rejuvenating to me.)

-Did I mention spending time in nature? Nature recharges us.  If I'm feeling stressed, down, sad, upset, or nervous, spending time with the birds, trees, mountains, rivers, lakes, bugs, squirrels and the rest of nature is always the perfect remedy.

-Be silent. (turn off the music and the television and just allow yourself some silence. For some people, the opposite might be true. Some people need to actually turn on the music.)

-Make your morning routine a mini-spa treatment, rather than a stressed rush to shower and get out the door.

-Unplug from (personal) social media. (There were a few days that I was feeling so much stress, I forced myself to stay off Facebook for a few days. I think in doing so, I focused on myself instead of others and I was able to give my own life the care and attention that it needed.  I love Facebook and love keeping up with my friends and family, but I won't hesitate to take a break if I start to feel too tense.  Unplugging for a few hours or days provides immediate relief from stress.)

-Take a look at the people around you. When you're maxed or stressed out, take a break from the people in your life who drain you.  (It doesn't mean you have to unfriend them or avoid them. While you're providing yourself with respite care,  try to surround yourself with people whose energy helps to charge you up and people who leave you feeling better, rather than those people who injure you in some way. Sometimes, this may even mean a few solitary days. (It's not healthy to completely isolate yourself but rather, just spend quality time alone in spurts.)

-Hug and love your pets! (Again, this is instant stress relief for the both of you. Your animals love the attention, and in return, your mind and spirit will feel instantly better when you allow yourself time to love your pets.)

-Pull yourself together and fake it, if need be.  (There are days when I feel pretty darn rotten and could really use that tropical getaway, or at least a calgon bath.  It is those days when I actually take the extra time and effort to go all out with my hair, make-up and clothes.  The funny thing is, by time I get myself all ready - I usually feel better just by dressing the part. On the off chance I wasn't able to convince myself to feel better, then at least the rest of the world won't know it.)

-Give yourself permission to pause.  (I've been so excited about missellanea.com and I have such big dreams but things are rolling out at a much slower rate than I wanted.  It's like that day when we first did the 20 miles. I'm not stopping. I'm not sitting down. I've just slowed down a little until I catch my breath and let my mind wander a bit,  but we're still moving forward and we're gonna make it just fine and when I get to where I'm going, I'll be stronger than when I started.

Do you have any tricks you use for instant respite, even if it's only in your mind?

Word Wednesday - Verity

wwverity

ver·i·ty

[ver-i-tee] 

noun, plural ver·i·ties

1. the state or quality of being true; accordance with fact or reality: to question the verity of a statement.
2. something that is true, as a principle, belief, idea, or statement: the eternal verities.

Two of my dear friends - The verity of our friendship is unquestionable.

I chose "verity" as today's word because I've been trying to find the right word to identify or define the people and relationships in our lives that are truly genuine.

I realize I've been quite blessed because I have several very special friends in my life.  I think most of us would consider ourselves quite lucky to have even just one genuine friend who we could call any time of the day or night, and know they'd be there for us.  I feel so fortunate to have a few of those special friends and friendships. The verity of some of those friendships has actually been put to the challenge, or test, with midnight phone calls to seek assistance for one thing or another. If someone answers that midnight call, you know you have a friend for life.

I've been reflecting on the friendships in my life and lately I've had overwhelming feelings of gratitude for my dear friends.  I've been thinking about the people in my life who have known me for decades and have seen me through both the very best and the very worst, and they're still here.  These friends have become like family and I know they'll be in my life forever.

 

I'm here, I'm here!

Hello! I'm really sorry I've been quiet!  I'm still here!  Word Wednesday will be back next week.

It is peak season at my job and wow, it feels like every minute of my day is already allocated elsewhere.  It's a great problem to have, but I'm sorry I haven't been able to be as active here as I intend to.  Thank you for hanging in there with me!

It's  Rose Festival time in Portland and from now through the end of fall, there is always some awesome event happening in Portland. This weekend, I will actually stay in a hotel in downtown portland, with a few coworkers, so that we can wake up bright and early and set up the merchandise tent for one of the Rose Festival events.  We practically work sun up to sun down, but we have a blast! I'm usually working quite hard but I will try to sneak away for a few breaks to snap some pictures and share with you.

Speaking of pictures, are you on Instagram?   It took some encouragement but I'm now on Instagram.  Well, actually - The Blogcademy headmistresses pretty much insisted that we couldn't leave class unless we set up an Instagram account. I'm so glad they made this suggestion. I'm having so much fun. (Now, i just need to implement the other things I learned in class. It'll happen! I'll make it.)  Anyway, you can find me on Instagram as missellanea.  I'd love to follow you too!

I cracked myself up the other day while I was on my walk and stopping to take pictures of practically every flower I encountered. I wasn't covering much ground but I sure found a lot of pretty flowers!  The old saying could now be changed to "Take time to stop and Instagram the roses."  I don't care if you're smelling the roses, or instagramming them...I just hope you're getting a moment to pause and enjoy this beautiful world around us.  No matter how busy I get, I still make time to connect with nature in some little way. I've found it is critical to my well being.

Thank you again!  I just didn't want you to worry about me! I assure you I'm here and very excited to get serious with you, and this blog.

I'd love to follow you on Instagram. You can follow me - missellanea.

 

 

Word Wednesday

 

verve1

verve

 

noun

1. enthusiasm or vigor, as in literary or artistic work; spirit: Her latest novel lacks verve.
2. vivaciousness; liveliness; animation: I like a teacher with plenty of verve.
3. Archaic. talent.

You know those people who are so enthusiastic that being in their presence can make you feel like you've just downed a cup of coffee and you're ready to take on the world?  You know those special people who seem to have just a little more shine than most people and it has nothing to do with their appearance? That enthusiasm, that shine, is "verve" and lucky for us, it's contagious.

I just completed a two-part Entrepreneur workshop for women, taught by Stephanie Lynn of Sweet Spot Skirts.  My motivation for going was simply to surround myself with verve.  All of the other women in the class either owned their own business or were in the process of staring their own business.  When we made our introductions to the class, I confessed that I wasn't a business owner but that I was there to absorb the energy and enthusiasm to help propel my writing and my blog, and that attending the class could  benefit me in being a better employee.

If you're in a business strategy class filled with 25+ women entrepreneurs, being taught by a woman who oozes passion and enthusiasm, and sitting next to your friend who holds down a full time job and essentially owns two other businesses, you can't help but soak in the verve. I left there feeling motivated, enthusiastic, and determined to implement some of the things I learned in class. By surrounding myself with verve, I re-ignited my own spark. More importantly, I was amazed and impressed by all of the women and their new endeavors and it reminded me how special and important it is to support small, local, businesses.

When we live our life with verve, we don't always have to have all the right answers. People are a little more forgiving, as long as we are genuinely enthusiastic.   Over the years, I've sat in on several interviews at my current job and my previous job, and one thing I've determined is that it is much more refreshing to interview with someone who may lack experience and qualifications, but who has an upbeat personality, enthusiasm for the position in which they're interviewing and a little bit of "sparkle," than it is to interview with someone who may be completely qualified and experienced but who is disinterested or detached.   I realize there are certain positions for which a hire must be based strictly on qualifications and experience, but there are many other positions where your verve is going to get you just as far as a strong work history and experience.  Customers want to work with someone who has verve and people want to work with co-workers who have verve.

When you're in a customer service or sales position, or in a situation where you need to market yourself or your services, such as interviewing for a new job or starting new business,  if you can convey your verve - you will be successful!

I've intentionally surrounded myself with enthusiastic people and I place myself in verve-rich environments  in order to boost my own level of enthusiasm and creativity.  People feed off of the energies of those around them, both good and bad, and I want to make it a point to surround myself with verve.  If you're ever feeling a little demotivated or discouraged, it is important to place yourself amongst others who have a surplus of enthusiasm and especially if they share the same objectives as you.  It is a constant process of give and take, and energy exchange.  One day we're the beneficiary of another person's verve but the next day, we're on the giving end and someone else may be inspired by our enthusiasm and the spark we share with them.

I want people to be able to feel my verve, both personally and professionally and if we're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, people will pick up on that. As I write this, I realize the best way to really let our verve shine through, is to be  focused on the current moment and completely present for the person with whom we're interacting.  If we can temporarily set aside any other stressors and distractions, and give that person our complete attention, then our verve will shine brightly!

 

 

Word Wednesday

Conspicuous Consumption

conspicuous consumption

noun

public enjoyment of possessions that are known to be costly so that one's ability to pay for such things is flaunted.
lavish or wasteful spending thought to enhance social prestige
Origin:  used by Thorstein Veblen in The Theory of the Leisure Class  (1899)

I work for a company that does screen printing and embroidery. Our shop is located just a few blocks away from a high school and we do work for several of the school's sports teams and activity clubs and occasionally, some of the students place personal orders as well.

A few years ago, I worked with a young, entrepreneurial,  student who came in seeking an estimate to have his artwork printed on t-shirts.  I thoroughly explained the the process, minimum order, and the terms of a 50% deposit with the balance due COD.  Thinking that he may have been discouraged by the 50% deposit and that he may need ideas on how to finance his project, I offered the suggestion that he could always have people pre-order a t-shirt and collect their money so that he could pay for the deposit.  It turned out that he wasn't at all concerned about the deposit and he was completely confident he'd sell out immediately.

He went on to explain that all he needed was for one popular kid to wear his shirt and then everyone else would buy one too.  He was absolutely certain of it.  He went on to explain that he wasn't one of the popular kids but his neighbor was, and he and his neighbor were tight.  I don't know if he had ever been taught the term "conspicuous consumption," but he definitely mastered the concept in his understanding that the other students would emulate the popular kid and buy a shirt in attempt to purchase popularity status.  In this case, the currency is more about social affluence than actual financial affluence.

I was reminded of "conspicuous consumption" by my old high school economics teacher, with whom I'm still Facebook friends.  This morning, we were discussing Greg Karber's video and proposed #fitchthehomeless movement in response to  statements made by Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch.  It has surfaced that Abercrombie & Fitch intentionally limits the size offering of ladies' tops to size large, and the largest ladies pant size offered is a 10, because they want only thin and beautiful people to wear the brand. Jeffries is quoted as saying to Robin Lewis,  "In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. We go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely."  Jeffries was quoted in a 2006 interview with Salon, as saying "That's why we hire good-looking people in our stores.  Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don't market to anyone other than that."

"Conspicuous consumption" is the theory behind my young customer's confidence in banking on the fact that the other students would buy his shirts in a display of social affluence because his popular neighbor endorsed it, and it is essentially the foundation of Jeffries' practices to artificially inflate the perceived status and exclusivity of the Abercrombie & Fitch brand by limiting the sizes offered in ladies styles and by hiring only good looking employees.  How do we let this happen?  Because people buy into it.  We buy brands like Abercrombie to, in a sense, flaunt and to fit in.

Thorstein Veblen's "conspicuous consumption"  has taught us all about human behavior as it relates to one's personal economy and that people spend money and make purchases to show off their financial status.  Now, we make these purchases whether or not we even have the budget to do so. In this specific situation, Abercrombie isn't priced to be completely out of range for people, so by limiting the sizes, one also needs the currency of being thin and beautiful in order to wear the Abercrombie brand.

Up until Jeffries' committed brand suicide with these comments - Abercrombie & Fitch was a much desired brand. Parents have been pressured by their kids to shop there because failure to do so would have resulted in the kid becoming a social outcast simply because they weren't wearing the right brand.

My former Economics teacher put it so perfectly this morning when she reminded us in our Facebook conversation: "anybody that wears someone else's advertising needs to stop and think what the brand stands for.  Remember 'conspicuous consumption' from Econ 101."

Judging by all of the backlash on social media and Greg Karber's video and #fitchthehomeless campaign, I'm actually starting to see a possible upside to the Abercrombie & Fitch drama.  I'm hoping that Jeffries' comments and the subsequent backlash has given parents the opportunity to explain to their children that being a jerk isn't cool.  Nice is the new black.

I hope that parents will remind their children to keep an eye out for, and befriend, the real "cool" kids, not the ones who are only cool because of the brands they sport. The real "cool" kids are often times unnoticed.

The cool kids are the ones who are on the yearbook staff and write for the school newspaper.

The cool kids are in band, choir, and orchestra.  You may think they're band "nerds", but they  grow up to be our rock stars.  If these people aren't cool, please tell me what is.

The cool kids are sitting on the bench of your basketball, football, or volleyball team. You have to look beyond the captain of the team to see the really cool kid who sits on the bench for every single game, yet still shows up to every single practice and gives it his very best, simply because they love the game and want to be a part of the team.  That kind of dedication is not only cool, but it is inspiring and the kind of person I would want on my team in the real sport of life.

The cool kids are the ones who bolt as soon as school lets out because they're working a job or caring for a younger sibling.  Having this sort of work ethic is cool and someday when you have a job, you'll want that person as your co-worker.

The cool kids are the ones who hang out in the art department and who are so bashful, they're hardly able to make eye contact with you when you pass them in the hall. Some day, they'll be showing at a gallery and it is their cool art that you'll want for your walls.

The cool kids are the ones who are so overweight, or who have such severe acne that they're tormented relentlessly, yet they still continue to show up to school in spite of your cruelty.  That kind of strength is cool and I would be willing to bet in their adult life, they will have developed a beautiful personality.

The cool kids are the dreamers such as my entrepreneurial customer. They have vision,  hopes and ideas.  They can see beyond their limited time in school and they are planning for their future. They are cool because they can see just how un-cool things can be in school, but how very cool they'll be in the future.

I hope that as a result of Jeffries' comments, parents will encourage their kids to develop and define their own sense of style, rather than covet a brand. I hope that kids (and adults, too) will learn to experiment with their creativity in putting together outfits, and that they'll learn to create their own personal brand.

I hope that as a result of the Abercrombie & Fitch mess, local artists and designers in towns all across the country will see a huge boost in business as people spend a little more wisely and a little less conspicuously.

 

 

Word Wednesday

auspicious aus·pi·cious [aw-spish-uhs] 

adjective

1.  promising success; propitious; opportune; favorable: an auspicious occasion.

2.  favored by fortune; prosperous; fortunate

 

What do you do when absolutely everything is stacked against you and nothing about your situation is auspicious?   Well, if it is something you really want and if it's something you're motivated to make happen, then you dig deep down inside yourself and you persevere.

The first step toward making anything happen for yourself, is to make the the decision to do so and following close behind as the second step, is to believe that anything is possible.

If you haven't noticed, I've failed at maintaining my self-imposed editorial calendar for this blog.  The only feature I've been able to keep up with, consistently,  is "Word Wednesday"  and even that takes more effort than I could even begin to explain.  In short, nothing about my schedule is conducive to making this blog fly. It would be so easy to give up. If I decided to give up, my "one" reader, Shelly, would pat me on the back, tell me I gave it a nice shot and we'd get on with life. (If you're not Shelly and you're reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your day and spending your valuable time here. If you are Shelly, I know you wouldn't really let me off the hook this easily.  I know you'd bust out the pompoms and cheer on anyone who needed encouragement.)  Anyway, I could give up. But, I'm not.

Have I ever told you about my marathon training buddies?  When I decided to do my first marathon, two other friends made the commitment with me.  We probably weighed 700 pounds between the three of us.  Yes, you just read that right. Three big girls, a combined weight of 700 lbs., and we decided to do a marathon.  Day one of training wasn't pretty but when we woke up on the day of the marathon, 10 months later,  it was indeed an auspicious occasion.  There was no doubt about it - we were going to finish that marathon because we had put in the training to make it happen.  The conditions were not in our favor when we started but the one thing we had working for us was our complete dedication to crossing that finish line. I think we even, jokingly, strategized on what to do in the event that one of us should go down and how the other two could drag the the 3rd person across the finish line.  We made the decision to finish a marathon and we believed, completely, in our ability to make it a reality. Our circumstances didn't start out in our favor, but with determination and proper training, we were able to cross the start line auspiciouslly, and crossing the finish line was a certainty.

If you're struggling with something, like I am, keep on going and persevere through the rough patches.  Struggling with something can sometimes be a much needed part of the process and the process is as important as the outcome.

If we make up our minds to do something, if we're truly motivated to make it happen, and if we truly believe in the possibility of success - a person is capable of accomplishing just about anything they envision. It doesn't matter if it seems like it is a impossible task, if you believe in the possibility of success and if you have confidence, you will change the impossible, into the auspicious.

Word Wednesday

n. one who dabbles in something for personal amusement dil·et·tante [dil-i-tahnt, dil-i-tahnt, -tahn-tey, -tan-tee]  noun, plural dil·et·tantes, dil·et·tan·ti [-tahn-tee] , adjective

noun

1. a person who takes up an art, activity, or subject merely for amusement, especially in a desultory or superficial way; dabbler.

2.  a lover of an art or science, especially of a fine art.

adjective

3.  of or pertaining to dilettantes.

Origin: 

1725–35;  < Italian,  noun use of present participle of dilettare  < Latin dēlectāre  to delight

Related forms

dil·et·tan·tish, dil·et·tan·te·ish, adjective

I love this fancy little word and I think I've only heard it used once in the past decade, by an artist friend of mine.  However, if someone were to call you a dilettante, today, I'm not sure if the appropriate response would be to thank them, or if you should take offense.

The original use of the word was much friendlier than its current use.  It was originally used to describe a person who dabbles in an activity (such as the arts) simply for their own personal amusement and satisfaction, or it was also used to describe a person who had a love or appreciation for the arts.

It seems the word has evolved and has taken on a negative connotation and is now used, almost as an insult, when describing one who has no real talent or ability in that which they claim to be proficient.

The original use was a lot less negative, and I think a lot more appropriate in meaning.  In its original meaning, I suppose a lot of us could consider ourselves dilettantes and that's a pretty fabulous thing!  I would encourage everyone to be dilettantish!  We should explore our creative side and do things because we want to do them, or because we love to do them!  We don't have to be a pro in every single thing we do. We should dabble, explore, create, and have fun - and we should let go of the pressure or expectation that we have to be perfect, or that we have to create something spectacular when we're just starting out.  Why not celebrate the process and not just the results?

For example, I would say that I'm a dilettante-photographer and also a dilettantish writer and blogger.  I love photography. I admire pictures of beautiful things and beautiful pictures of ordinary things. I've wanted to be a photographer for years and I've known that in order to blog, it would be absolutely necessary to grow as a photographer.  I've been reluctant to dive in because of my lack of knowledge and understanding of photography.   It is even more difficult to be a photographer in our present time because it doesn't seem enough just to capture a beautiful shot. Now, one also has to be proficient in photoshop or some other photo-editing programs. I was fearful and intimated to even snap a damn picture because I felt I wasn't skilled or educated enough to do so.

Well, guess what? I learned at The Blogcademy that the demand for "perfectionism is just a form of procrastination."  My reluctance to even try to take a picture was just a silly excuse to remain still and it was preventing me from starting, and then growing, my blog.  It is perfectly ok to be a dilettante in whatever it is that you want to do and love to do.  It is not ok to deny yourself the pleasure of creating, simply because you think that you have to be perfect from the start. It's ok...let's all dabble!

I've had a dilettantish start to blogging in that it's all been quite amateur, but at least I've started and I'm determined and motivated to improve. I'm happy to be a dilettante now, in both photography and blogging.  In the future, we'll be able to look back on this bumpy start and appreciate the growth and evolution.

Word Wednesday

"Always absorbing everything, everywhere, all the time" - from the movie, "Detachment" Have you seen "Detachment?"

http://vimeo.com/61398460

If you've seen the movie, I'm certain you recognized today's phrase immediately. "Detachment" is an unforgettable movie and worth checking out.

"Ubiquitous Assimilation," as defined by the movie, is: "always absorbing everything, everywhere, all the time."

I haven't been able to clear this thought from my head since the first time I watched the movie, nearly 6 months ago. The thought "ubiquitous assimilation" enters my mind at least once a day.

What are we feeding our minds? Just as important as the nourishment that we choose to feed our bodies, is the nourishment we choose to feed our minds. What is fueling our thoughts?

I realized quite some time ago, that I'm one big fat sponge and because of ubiquitous assimilation, I need to be hyper aware of the environments in which I place myself,  the company I keep, the news and television shows I watch, and the books I read.

I love(d) Howard Stern.  I would listen to him from the moment I woke up, which was sometimes as early as 4am, until the time I arrived at work around 8am. (Sometimes, I would listen so long, the show would actually start to repeat.)  When Howard made the switch to Satellite radio, we didn't make the switch with him. I thought I was going to die.  I was off my routine for several weeks.  We kept intending to get satellite, but we just didn't make the jump. Then one day it hit me - since I had stopped listening to Howard Stern, I was happier!  Well, I wouldn't say I was happier, because I actually grieved for Howard. It felt like a close friend had died or like I was experiencing a break-up.  What I did notice, was that my attitude had improved and I didn't complain as much. I absolutely love Howard, but I was absorbing bits and pieces of his personality and attitude and it was actually affecting the way I felt and acted.  I always thought it was so ironic how much I loved Howard because I would have been the type of girl that he would have just torn down and torn apart because of my body size. I didn't care.  I loved him anyway.  But, after the realization that I wasn't wound quite as tightly since I had stopped listening to his show, I decided to finally kick my Howard habit for good.   It was tough, but I managed.

I'm working on limiting my exposure to negative influences and have surrounded myself with people who "got it goin' on" in one way or another. I've attended a couple workshops which were filled with women who have hopes and dreams and goals and who have visions of a better life for themselves. (I don't mean just financially, I mean - people who aspire to do something, to create, to be bold, to put themselves out there for the world.)

When you surround yourself with women who are striving to make their dreams a reality,   you'll discover a powerful group of ladies who will encourage you to succeed as well! I've observed women who "should" be competitors, but instead - they build each other up, network, and help each other to succeed.

If we're "always absorbing everything, everywhere, all of the time," what are you allowing yourself to assimilate?

Word Wednesday

wwindefatigable in·de·fat·i·ga·ble

adjective

incapable of being tired out; not yielding to fatigue; untiring.

It was difficult to choose a word for today. Like everyone, my heart has been heavy for Boston and my thoughts have been consumed by images and stories of the victims in Boston.  No word seems adequate. Every word is insufficient.

I narrowed the focus and decided on word that defines the spirit of a Boston Marathon athlete  - indefatigable.

A marathoner's mind tells them, "keep going," when everything else is telling them to stop.

The bombing in Boston comes just a few months after the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, the Clackamas Town Center shooting, the Aurora theatre shooting and countless other tragedies which occur daily, but are not as publicized as these horrific events.

It feels as though we've just started to heal from the last tragedy, and now the wounds have been re-opened and our sense of security has been shattered once again.  It would be a natural emotion for us to want to retreat, shut down, and shut ourselves off from other people. It would be understandable for us to be tired.  Now,  more than ever,  we need to channel our inner marathoner (whether or not we've ever gone the 26.2 miles) and persist. We must live life the way a marathon athlete trains.  We need to tell ourselves, "keep going," even though everything else is telling us to stop. We must be indefatigable.

A runner reaches a point in a marathon when their body feels as though it could betray them at any moment and it feels like the only rational and logical thing to do would be to sit down and rest a spell.  The marathoner's mind will again persist and declare, "keep going, finish strong."

A marathoner, barely hanging on and fighting their own internal battle, will encounter another runner who is also clearly just hanging on and the two will draw strength from one another.  They will lift each other up and push one another. One will say to the other, "keep going, finish strong," and the other will say in return, "you've got this."  They will persist. They are indefatigable.

It is this spirt with which we need to lift each other up and encourage our friends, family, and community to "keep going."

We can't give up yet.  We have to believe in each other.  We can't grow weary or tired  - we have to keep going. We have to live to honor those who are no longer here. We have to resist the desire to isolate ourselves and instead,  we must keep going.  We must embody the spirit of a marathon athlete - we must be indefatigable.

If you see someone along the way, who is struggling just a little more than you, extend a hand and an encouraging word.  Tell them they're looking strong and eventually they will believe it.   Keep going. Indefatigable.  Keep going.

 

Word Wednesday

wwinculcate in·cul·cate

 

[in-kuhl-keyt, in-kuhl-keyt]

verb (used with object), in·cul·cat·ed, in·cul·cat·ing.

1. to implant by repeated statement or admonition; teach persistently and earnestly (usually followed by upon  or in  )

2. to cause or influence (someone) to accept an idea or feeling (usually followed by with)

"Inculcate" is a powerful little word and in my mind I think of it as a marriage between "incubate" and "infiltrate."   It helps me to remember the meaning by thinking of it as an attempt to "infiltrate" a person's thoughts, beliefs, or basic operating system and "incubate" a new thought, belief, or operating system.

It is my desire to be able to influence others by inculcating them with the belief that they are capable of reaching goals and achieving their dreams. I want to encourage others  to take the first step on the path toward reaching a goal or realizing a dream.  One method to inspiring others is constant and frequent encouragement in order to "infiltrate" the negative self-talk that one is telling themselves, plant a little seed of encouragement and incubate it until the negative thoughts of self-doubt are replaced by thoughts and feelings of determination.  I want to inculcate others with the thought that they are capable of achieving their dreams and reaching their goals.

Parents, coaches and teachers inculcate their children and students with certain beliefs, thoughts and traits, each and every day.  Children are under constant inculcation of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, safe vs. unsafe, and good choices, vs. bad choices.

If you've been on Facebook lately, chances are, you can think of a Facebook friend who has an agenda to inculcate you with a particular political stance.  You know the one I'm talking about.  They post multiple times a day or week, in attempt to sway your opinions toward one belief or another. I'm simply pointing this out as an example to which most of us can relate.

"Inculcate" is neither good, nor bad.  We each have the power to inculcate a certain mindset.  You can influence your social circle, by inculcating upon them a desired mindset.  For example - I have a group of friends and among this group is one extremely fit and athletic individual and she is constantly presenting us with fitness challenges of some sort.  Through her process of inculcation, some of our group are actually making positive changes in their lives as a result of her fitness-inculcating tactics.  Have you ever heard the cliche, "if you hang out in a beauty shop long enough, you're going to get a hair cut?" This cliche is the perfect example of inculcation and also explains why we should be mindful of whom we choose to align ourselves.  Who is influencing you, and what influence are you having on others?  Who and what, are you inculcating, and who and what is being inculcated upon you?

Do it because you love it!

 

It's a week away from The Race for the Roses -Half Marathon, and the doubt started to creep into my mind this morning.  I was really struggling with what should have been an "easy" 7 miles.

This will be my fourth half-marathon and I thought by now, the self-doubt would have been replaced by feelings of confidence and competence. Instead, I was questioning my decision to register for this event. I was questioning my ability, whether or not my foot is healed enough from a recent surgery, my training, and  even questioning if I should retire from marathons and half-marathons and just hike for fun.

Every step I took felt awkward, heavy and even painful.  I've learned from training, when you're feeling like this, it's best to focus on your stride, focus on your form and posture, be mindful of your foot strike, and then feel the transition as your body moves from the uncomfortable clunkity-clunk-clunkity-clunk, to that of a more fluid moving machine. The important thing is to be present and focus.

I was able to re-direct myself and things were just starting to flow when I had to stop at an intersection to wait for the crossing sign to change.  This particular intersection is one of the busiest intersections in town and sometimes it can be a very long wait. The crossing signal changed and as I started to re-launch myself, I realized I had lost the flow again.

This time, I couldn't stop my brain fast enough. My mind took off from that present moment and before I knew it, my brain had gone back in time to a little kid's gymnastics meet that I attended several years ago.  I attended the meet to support my dear friend's daughter, who is quite the skilled gymnast. My friend's daughter did fantastic but I remember a little girl who just struggled. She more than struggled. The little dear floundered.   The poor little sweetie was painfully unskilled.  I felt so sorry for her. I didn't know it at the time, but I had it all wrong.

Later, a friend asked about the meet and I told him about the poor little girl and how it had upset me to watch her struggling.  I questioned how parents could "do" that to a kid, which caused my friend to question me.  I explained that if I had a child, I would never want them to experience humiliation or failure. It was my position that maybe the little girl's parents should have encouraged her to pursue something else, something at which she could be good.    Never being one for too many words, but always being the one with the right answer - his response was "fuck it."

I continued to have this internal debate for many years.  Would I ever want to be the little girl gymnast? Would I ever want to do something at which I would never be a "winner"?  Would I ever want to do something at which I didn't excel, simply for the love of it?  Before I started this blog, and before I started doing marathons, my answer was always "no." I only wanted to be good. I only wanted to be a winner.

Just a few hundred yards past that intersection, it all came whooshing at me…I AM that floundering little gymnast. I am that little girl, doing something she clearly wasn't "made" to do, but I'm doing it and I love it! I'm growing and I'm learning and I'm discovering that we learn more from our failure and "humiliation" than we could ever learn from living a life filled with one success after another.  Not only am I that little floundering gymnast, but here I am, encouraging you to do the same!  I'm telling us both to get out there in that world!  So what, if we don't stick our dismount and if we fall flat on our faces?!  If we land on our face instead of our feet, then we will just pick ourselves back up again, put our little hands in the air as though we nailed a 10.0, and smile.

After channeling the little floundering gymnast, I regained my stride and my flow and laughed as I was hit with another memory, as a child, in ballet.   I was such a big girl and probably painfully out of place. My tutu didn't match the other girls in our recital because I was so big that I couldn't fit the children's tutus.  I had to wear a tutu that belonged to our teacher.   I realize now that my own parents allowed me to flounder and "fail." That "failure" is one of my greatest memories and I'm so thankful they encouraged me, even when I did things simply for the love of it and even when my love of it was painfully awkward for others to watch.

Word Wednesday

The first "Word Wednesday," is a French phrase, which is sort of ironic considering that I took two and a half years of french and only remember how to say "Je ne sais pas. Je ne parle pas français."  The translation: "I don't know.  I  don't speak French. raisondetre3

 

rai·son d'ê·tre [rey-zohn de-truh; French re-zawn de-truh]

 

noun

reason or justification for being or existence

 

How's that for our first word?   I figured we could pause to consider our existence, question the meaning of life, and our purpose on this planet.

It seems there are people out there who have known their purpose, really, since they were born.  There are others of us, who stroll though life, not knowing exactly what we're "supposed" to do to fulfill the reason of our birth.  We feel and hear a calling, but we're just unsure from which direction it's coming.  Seeing those who are already fulfilling their purpose, can make a wanderer feel entirely insufficient.  When one doesn't have children, this can double the feelings of inadequacy.

I love my job and I feel it's been one of my "raisons d'ê·tre, but I've always felt there was also something else I was meant to do, in addition.  The need to find my purpose has been swelling the past few years and the pressure was building so much that I was feeling as though I would burst if I didn't figure myself out, quickly! Does everyone in their early forties feel this way?  Or, just the wanderers? Do the artists, musicians, mothers, chefs, teachers, nurses, and business owners who are so clearly fulfilling their raison d' être, still feel a pressure to contribute more?

I was recently re-introduced to the phrase, "raison d' être," and it was in re-discovering this phrase that everything started to fall into place and a vision began to form.  I can't identify one single source of the inspiration or revelation, because it felt as though "answers" were pouring in from all directions.  A theme was starting to develop among the things I would hear on the radio, see on television, read in a book, or even discuss with friends.

The thought that came to my awareness, was that discovering our "raison d' être," shouldn't be a cause for stress.  You know when people say that they have to leave at a particular time so that they don't have to "battle traffic"?   Think of that for a moment. How, exactly, does one "battle" traffic and does "battling" traffic expedite the commute?  No.  It makes it miserable and dangerous.  You just have to enjoy the ride, somehow.

We don't have to stress. We don't have to battle ourselves to find our raison d' être.  Our reason for being was already fulfilled the moment we were born.   The rest is all a fabulous journey of self discovery and awakenings and the beautiful thing, I believe right now, is that at any moment - we can define for ourselves a new raison d' être.   

 

Believe. Begin. Blogcademy.

Reach for the sky! I just spent the past 8 hours in The Blogcademy workshop in downtown Portland and I left there feeling inspired, encouraged, motivated, enthusiastic and now a little more educated.  It was also a very serious reality check. It was sort of like stepping on the scales for the first time after that 4 and a half month, Halloween-through-Girl-Scout-Cookie-Season stretch and realizing that I have a ton of work to do if I want to feel good about things.

When you sit in a room for 8 hours,  with 30 other motivated and enthusiastic women, you can't help but absorb part of that powerful energy, no matter how big the challenge in front of you may be.

I will share more about my experience in the coming days, but I just wanted to stay true to my newly declared content calendar.  The instructors reiterated the importance of ritualizing a writing/posting schedule and adhering to an editorial calendar.  I was so carried away with the excitement and energy of the conference, that I actually failed at taking many photos. I need to, and will, improve on the amount of photos that I post. If  you're reading this now, I know I owe you lots of pretty pictures and that's something I'm working on.

I'm so excited and I'm looking forward to sharing more, but for now, I just want to share the biggest thing that I took from the workshop today. (which wasn't technically on the curriculum, but its what I felt was the underlying, unspoken theme.)  If there's something you want to do, and you've been delaying its start, it's time to just put yourself out there and make things happen. It's time to take the first step. No matter how intimidating it may be, it's time to be a big girl and go for it.

 

I Love my Sweet Spot Skirt!

Yesterday, I declared that Tuesday would be a writing day and I would write about products, businesses or services about which I'm excited. This first product is something I think that every woman would absolutely love to own and now that I've had mine for several months, I don't know how I ever survived without one.

I'm talking about a Sweet Spot Skirt!

I discovered Sweet Spot Skirts almost exactly one year ago, while browsing the expo for the Portland Race for the Roses Half Marathon, and I think I've worn a Sweet Spot Skirt probably 275 out of the last 365 days of this past year. That's how much I love the product!

The Sweet Spot Skirt can be worn over running tights or shorts, during your favorite activities such as running, walking, hiking, biking, golfing, etc., or it can be worn as a cover-up immediately following such activities so that you can easily transition from athlete to super-woman-on-the-go without having to go home to first change clothes before taking care of errands and shopping.

I have an issue about going into public after being sweaty and working out, but I confess, I break my own rule against going into public wearing work-out clothes when I'm wearing my Sweet Spot Skirt.  I feel I still look presentable enough to dash into a store and make a quick exit.

Sweet Spot Skirts are made in Vancouver, Washington and can be purchased in their downtown Vancouver shop, on line at www.sweetspotskirts.com, at REI, or at various Races around the country.

The amazing thing about the Sweet Spot Skit is that they're offered in four different sizes and they fit women from size zero to size 26 and the skirt is absolutely adorable on all body types! They've perfected the cut and flair in such a way, that the cut is flattering to all!

I'm wearing a "Fast and Flirty" here in this photo which is made of a poly material.  I have two others which are made of the reversible cotton fabric and I typically only wear those for training but I've decided I'm going to wear one in my next half marathon.

Here I am, wearing my Sweet Spot Skirt at the Portland Marathon last fall.  26 miles down, just that last .02 to go!

I want to share the word about this amazing little skirt.  I love the product and I know you will too! I love that we can support a locally owned and woman-owned business and we can look fabulous doing so!