365 More People Pictures - Week 45

Hello! This is week 45 of the 365 More People Pictures Project.

 

Day 308 - Tamera

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This is Tamera.  We met at the park.  I spotted her sitting at a picnic table, reading a book.

The happiest thing happening in Tamera's life right now is that she recently learned she and her family will be staying in Portland.  They were facing the possibility of a transfer, but are happy to be staying here in the Northwest.

When I asked Tamera if she's recently performed an act of kindness, or if she's been on the receiving end of kindness, she told me about her tight-knit group of neighbors who are constantly performing kind acts for one another. It sounds like in Tamera's neighborhood, one day you'll find yourself on the giving end of kindness, but the next day, you will be on the receiving end of your neighbor's kindness.  They provide child care for each other, prepare and deliver meals to each other when one might be in need of a little extra help, and most of all, they provide friendship and a true sense of community for one another.  It reminds me of how we lived decades ago.

"To be as kind and loving as possible to the people around me, and to make the world a better place wherever I am," Tamera answered, when I asked if she had a personal mission statement.  Tamera added that her life's purpose is to care for her daughter.

Thank you, Tamera.

 

Day 309 - Angie

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This is Angie.

The happiest thing happening in her life is that she's settling into her new house.

Angie's recent act of kindness is that she donated to a group of kids who were fundraising.

"To make people laugh," Angie answered, when I asked her life's purpose.

When I asked Angie something about herself which she would consider to be a success, she answered that it was that she was able to overcome financial burdens.  Congratulations!

Thank you, Angie.

Day 310 - Marie

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This is Marie.  We met at the bus stop.

"I'm just learning to be happier and more positive," Marie answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in her life right now.

Marie's recent act of kindness is that she helped one of her customers pay the difference when they came up short on their purchase. In general, Marie said that she always tries to be friendly and helpful at her job and wants to help make others happy.

"Trying to help others and help the planet," Marie answered, when I asked her life's purpose.

Something about herself which she would consider to be a success is that she's done well at her first job. She's worked there for over a year and is pleased with her job stability.

Thank you, Marie.

 

Day 311 - Trevor and Noah

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These are two complete strangers, hugging.  I wish that every day in this project could have been like this one.  I pushed myself a little harder and just happened to meet two awesome guys who were willing to push themselves too.

This is Trevor (right) and Noah (left).  We met outside Sam's Billiards.  I approached and asked which one of them would let me take their picture for the project.  They were both up for it!  Hearing they were both up for it, I knew this was going to be my chance to try something I've been dreaming about.  I explained to the pair that I've been wanting to do something with strangers interacting because I want others to experience the same joy and full heart this project has provided to me.  Again, they were up for it!

I asked the two if they would be willing to hug.  Obviously...they were up for it!  What I love most about this, is that the hug was solid and genuine.

The two let go of any fears and apprehension, and hugged a stranger with the love one would have hugged their brother they hadn't seen in a while.  I felt the love and positive energy just being an observer of this beautiful interaction.  This was one of the best days in the entire two-year project.

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Noah was just coming off the receiving end of 2.5 months of kindness. He had been touring with his  band and it's the kindness of others which propels bands from one town to the next.

"The fact that I'm always trying to succeed," Noah answered, when I asked something about himself which he would consider to be a success.

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The happiest thing happening in Trevor's life at the time, was that he was on vacation with his girlfriend...and deciding to play pool at a random bar.  (Which is where we met, and were now all hugging strangers.)

"Eat, sleep, fuck, and to be happy and to help everyone else around me to succeed," Trevor answered, when I asked his life's purpose.  "Hey, I'm an animal," he explained.  (Yes, a sweet, adorable, loving little animal.)

Thank you, Noah and Trevor.  Thank you for your kindness in allowing me to take your picture, and for being brave enough and loving enough, to hug a complete stranger.  You two are awesome.

 

Day 312 - Al

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This is Al.

The happiest thing happening in his life is his new girlfriend.

Al's recent act of kindness is that he helped pull a guy's truck out of the sand where he had become stuck.

"Surfing," Al answered, when I asked his life's purpose.

"I'm a jack of all trades. I can learn just about anything, fast," Al answered, when I asked something about himself which he would consider to be a success.

Al was such an easy-going person.  Throughout this project, I've often been so pressured by time (trying to get a picture before a subject's bus arrives) that I've sacrificed quality about 98% of the time.  Given the nature of this project and the way in which I've approached it, I've been forgiving of myself.  However, if you continue to do something incorrectly, day after day, month after month, you will train yourself in bad habits and any progress will be slow and in tiny little increments. (Exactly how it's been for me.)

It's like I continue to take "bad" pictures, knowing they're bad!   Sometimes they're accidentally bad, but most times I've simply not taken the time to make them better. I already feel awkward and weird asking a person for their picture. It feels like people would get annoyed or upset if I then take them over to a spot where the light or background would be better. They're already taking time out of their day for me...it feels like I'd really be pushing my luck to then ask them to go to a different location. (Not to mention, I might really creep them out!)  However, I could see the light was beautiful in this little corridor in-between two buildings. I could see it was there, but because I don't practice it enough, I was having a hard time finding the sweet spot. Al was so patient with me as we moved a few steps up, a few steps back, a few steps left, then a few steps right. I realize that had I approached this project with the same determination I had that day, the results would have been better.  Al was patient and kind enough to let me take my time so that I could try a little harder than usual.

Thank you, Al.

 

Day 313 - Chris

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This is Chris.  We met at the bus stop.

The blog is behind from real-time and things have changed from when Chris and I met.  I'll share the answers he gave at the time, and then the update we shared via e-mail.

"A fresh start - I just moved to Portland," Chris answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.  Chris had just come from a job interview when we met, and he was on his way back to his hotel.

I asked Chris his life's purpose and he answered, "to live as genuinely as possible and to publish a book that resonates with people."  Chris is a writer and you can learn more about his work at www.ahliterature.org

"I got here on my own," Chris answered, when I asked something about himself which he considers to be a success.  Chris packed up and moved to Portland, determined to make a new life here.

After meeting Chris, he immediately emailed me, explaining that he felt like a deer-in-the-headlights when we met, and that he would be more comfortable answering the questions in writing so that he could give them more thought and consideration.  I completely understand this.  If someone were to approach me on the street and ask me these questions, I would babble non-sensibly.  I would also much rather prefer to write the answers than give a verbal in-person interview.

I find written communication to be preferred over the spoken word.  I feel awful about this trait.  It's nice knowing others have this preference as well.  It's not that I dislike talking with people. I love it, actually.  It's just that communication is a puzzle for me.  Each word is its special little piece of the puzzle and when you assemble them correctly, a beautiful picture is revealed.  When speaking with another person,  it's like each word, or puzzle piece, has a helium balloon attached to it.  Trying to arrange the words in proper order to convey a thought is like trying to grasp at the words as they're floating away.  Once caught, the words continue to be mischievous and disobedient.  When speaking, I continually arrange the words incorrectly.  Half of the words, puzzle pieces,  still manage to escape my grasp and are lifted away by their little helium-filled balloon, never to return to my mind or my mouth in time to be properly aligned with the other words.  With all of those missing words, puzzle pieces, my thoughts, the picture, can never be delivered the way in which I intended.   And as I age, I've discovered that the puzzle pieces are now escaping my capture in the the written word as well.  It is one of my biggest fears, turning into reality, that words will continue to float away from me forever.  With all those missing words, those missing pieces,  I will never be able to reveal the beautiful picture.

Time passed.

Chris did get the job here in Portland but finding an affordable place to live proved to be impossible.  Chris returned home.  So much has happened since we met.  Time passed and so so did his mood, or at least the spirit he was feeling when we met.  Chris no longer felt like re-visiting the questions in order to provide written answers.  I'm so sad Portland was unable to provide for Chris.  He was so happy to be here.  He found a job immediately and loved our city, but we failed at providing Chris with a place to call home.

I'm just really bummed about this.  I enjoyed meeting Chris and was hoping to bump into him again in the future.  It's been over 20 years since I've been on the hunt for an apartment or living situation in Portland, and now I'm also experiencing this challenge firsthand.  It's now extremely difficult to find an affordable place to live here.

Chris, wishing you the very best of luck and success, and the completion of your book.  It was a pleasure meeting you.  Thank you.

 

Day 314 - Eddie

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This is Eddie.  He's another one of the most soft-spoken, sweetest people in this project.  His style screams to be noticed, but his calm and gentle nature is more of a whisper.

The happiest thing happening in Eddie's life right now is his work with bridle leather.  Eddie hand-crafts leather goods. I'm determined to find the shop in which he sells some of this things, and then I'll report back to you.

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Eddie's recent act of kindness is that he returned someone's wallet.  It was a bit of a chase, but he was able to return the wallet to it's rightful owner.

"I'm a nihilist.  I don't think there there is a purpose in life," Eddie answered, when I asked his life's purpose.  Eddie went on to explain instead, "I'm an artist. I challenge myself to do different things, or to craft in a different way."

I've observed a beautiful irony in my friends and acquaintances who identify as being nihilists.  I've met a few people who are operating under the thought or philosophy that life is purpose-less, but those who I've met who live this operating system, are living some of the most purposeful, meaningful, beautiful lives of anyone I know.  They live lives filled with kindness, generosity, and determination.  Most of the nihilists I've met have been artists/creatives, born with gifts and talent that even the most dedicated person can never nurture from themselves.  They have been visionaries, and more importantly, they accomplish as much as they dream.

To me, it feels like someone who identifies with nihilism may feel like there isn't really a purpose to life, or in life, but the funny thing is, they're often living such a beautiful and purposeful life that it practically contradicts this philosophy.  It's as though their life's purpose is so hard-wired and so innate, they're not wandering aimlessly  (like some of us) in search of their purpose in life, or of life's purpose for them.  They are simply living it.

"My kindness," Eddie answered, when I asked something about himself which he would consider to be a success.   Eddie experienced a pretty traumatic situation just a few days prior to this in which he was caught in the crossfire of gang violence.  He was actually standing in the middle of gunfire as two gangs were shooting at each other.  Eddie is determined not to let this experience cloud his thoughts or feelings about people.  He's forgiving.  He will not allow himself to be led down a path and into the territory of discrimination or racism because of the violent acts of two small groups of people.  Eddie will not be hardened by this.  Instead, he is pretty much one of the most loving and accepting people I've met.

Thank you, Eddie.  You are amazing.

 

Here's a summary of the life's purposes and personal mission statements of the subjects from this week:

  • To be as kind and loving as possible to the people around me, and to make the world a better place wherever I am.
  • To make people laugh.
  • Trying to help others and help the planet.
  • I'm always trying to succeed.
  • Eat, sleep, fuck, and to be happy and to help everyone else around me to succeed.
  • Surfing.
  • To live as genuinely as possible and to publish a book that resonates with people.
  • I'm a nihilist.  I don't think there there is a purpose in life.

 

Thank you for reading along and thank you to every subject in this project.

365 More People Pictures - Week 32

Hello! Thanks for stopping by to check out week 32 of the 365 More People Pictures Project.  If you'd like to follow along daily, my Instagram username is @missellanea.

I'm currently a week behind in the blog post, but I'll catch us up soon!  I post the daily pictures on Instagram.

 

Day 217 - Richard

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This is Richard.

"Everything! I'm pretty happy with everything. I'm content," Richard answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.

Richard's recent act of kindness is that he presented a report in his Sociology Class on preparing a budget for a single parent with M.S., who is raising three children. Richard's experience working with the family taught him to live in gratitude and thankfulness.

"You are condemned by the way you condemn others," Richard answered, when I asked if he has a personal mission statement.

One thing about himself which Richard considers to be a success is that he's extroverted.  Because of this trait, he feels he's met lots of friends and people in the community. Richard feels he's had opportunities he wouldn't have otherwise had, were he not an extrovert.

Thank  you, Richard.

 

Day 218 - Jack

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This is Jack. We met at Starbucks. I didn't realize at the time, but Jack was studying and he still allowed me to sit down with him and interrupt his studies to take a picture and ask him a few questions.

The happiest thing happening in Jack's life right now is that he's a new Uncle!

Jack's recent act of kindness is that he bought someone a meal.

"To help people heal and live better in their day-to-day lives," Jack answered, when I asked his life's purpose.  Jack is currently in medical school.

"Being in school is a success," Jack answered, when I asked him something about himself which he would consider to be a success.  Jack also sees patients as a student so maintaining his studies, attending class and seeing patients keeps him busy and he feels it's a success even having made it this far.

Wishing you lots of luck, Jack!

Thank you!

 

Day 219 - Luke

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This is Luke. We met at the bus stop.

"My wife," Luke answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.

Luke was having trouble thinking of an answer when I asked if he's recently performed an act of kindness. I reminded him that he took the time to allow me, a complete stranger, to take his picture and ask him a few questions.

When I asked Luke his life's purpose, he answered, "to entertain people."  Luke is a musician - he plays bass and is a singer. He just moved here from Australia a few months ago, when he married his wife.  Their story is so cute! Luke met his wife, a girl from Oklahoma, at a show.  Luke said that she hated his band, but her dislike of his music wasn't enough to repel her from Luke. The two started dating and maintained a really, really, long distance relationship.  After visiting her in the U.S. a couple times, they decided to get married.  They both uprooted and re-planted themselves in Portland.  Luke is just settling in and isn't yet with a new band, but I hope we'll see more of him soon!

"My music," Luke answered, when I asked something about himself which he would consider to be a success.

Thank you, Luke! Wishing you and your wife lots of love and happiness here!

 

Day 220 - Dan

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This is Dan.  We met on the street, near PSU.

"I think I'm starting to figure it out...life, myself, happiness and contentment," Dan answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.

When I asked Dan if he's recently performed an act of kindness or if he's been on the receiving end of an act of kindness, he answered, "Every day!"  Dan thinks it's the little things we do for one another which can have a huge influence on one another. Simple little things such as smiling at a person, or being friendly to strangers.  Dan feels it takes courage for people to put themselves out there and open up to another person and he's receptive to it when others talk to him.  I found this to be so true!  When I approached Dan to ask if I could take his picture, I didn't even have to explain the project before Dan agreed.  He instantly made me feel comfortable and happy I had stopped him. He's just one of those super friendly and outgoing types.  It was like I had the courage enough to approach him, so he responded with the courage to be warm, inviting and friendly!

Dan and I spent quite a while visiting.  At one point, Dan made a comment about how amazing it is for two people, complete strangers,  to end up in the same place at the same moment, and share in a great conversation and exchange energy with one another.  I had known that night I was going to meet someone extra special because I had gotten lost.  I had just worked a 12 hour day and still hadn't found a person yet.  My last opportunity to find a person would be if I stopped downtown before heading home for the night.  I lived downtown for a few years and know my way around, but things have changed so much, I ended up taking several wrong turns before getting to my secret little parking spot which is always open.  I was starting to get frustrated but then I reminded myself that I always meet someone particularly great when I end up having to go through several challenges to meet them.  Dan was that person. Although I will most likely never see him again, for a few minutes that evening, he lifted my spirits and I had hoped I was able to do the same for him.

"To allow myself to be the guide for others, whenever or wherever that situation may occur," Dan answered, when I asked if he had a personal mission statement or life's purpose.  Dan actually constructed his mission statement on the spot, explaining that he's always had a sense that he was meant to be a guide.  As he explained this feeling to me, he was then able to articulate his personal mission statement.

When I asked Dan something about himself which he would consider to be a success, he answered, "that I haven't given up on myself."

Thank you, Dan.

 

Day 221 - John

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This is John.  We met on the street.

"Life is pretty good," John answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.

When I asked John if he has a personal mission statement or life's purpose, John said that he didn't really believe in a life's purpose.  John explained, "if there is a point, then do it to it's fullest. Live every moment like it's a work of art that you could do time and time again."  John's point was that we should find our passions, and we know it's a passion when we can do it over and over again.  We talked about photography as the example, and that now that I've discovered photography, it's something I could do, and want to do, every single day for the rest of my life.

Although John technically doesn't believe in a life's purpose, I like his thoughts on the pursuit of identifying that which makes us happy and ignites us from within, and then for us to continue to fuel that fire daily.

When I asked John something about himself which he would consider to be a success, John explained that some people live with so many regrets, but John feels like everything that has happened in his life and everything he's done, has created the person he is. "I Like who I've become.  I'm happy. That happiness is a success."

Thank you, John.

 

And then this happened:

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I was tempted to give this its very own post, just so I could talk about it and my feelings and hopefully write it out of my system.  I've decided that I'll just tell you the Cliff's Notes version here.  A person attempted to car-jack me this day, Thursday, as I was on my way home.

It was still early after I met John, so I decided to stop off at a thrift store near my house and see if there were any treasures to be found. I left the store and was on my way home.  As I was driving down the street, I noticed an SUV stopped in the middle of the street and in such a way that it telegraphed to me that someone or something was about to dart out into the middle of the road.  We weren't at a crosswalk but I was thinking someone was going to run right out into traffic to get to the other side.  Seems like someone makes this bold/stupid move at least once a week, so I try to be hyper-aware.

I stopped where the SUV had stopped, expecting  someone to rush out in front of me to cross the street, and then we would all be on our way.  A person didn't run out in front of me as I had anticipated, but instead, someone came walking from around the SUV and toward the front of my car. Obviously drunk or high, I waited for them to make their way to the center median so I could then continue on about my way.  The person didn't go to the center median.  Instead, he came walking around the front of my car, saying something I couldn't make out, and then he walked right over to my driver side door.  The man reached for his pants like he was going to pull out a gun, opened my door, and told me, "get the fuck out!"  It was somehow moving in slow motion, yet all happening so fast!

Until that point, I had been feeling generally happy and in a great mood.  I think the fact that I headed into that situation feeling great, helped me to be calm.  Had this happened the minute I got out of work and while I was still totally amped up, stressed out and tense, the outcome could have been different.

I started to surrender my car to the man, thinking that's what I was supposed to do.  My mind was flashing to a collage of television news stories where reporters speaking of convenience store clerks who have been robbed, always add a little commentary saying that when in the position of being robbed, you're supposed to give the robber what they want and not fight.  So, I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do and began to surrender my car.

As I started to get out of my car, I had two competing thoughts at the same time.  I feared that if I looked at the guy wrong, or if I didn't move in a way in which was satisfactory to him,  he was going to shoot me anyway.  I had started to accept the fact that I was going to get shot and even calculated all of the spots on my body where I could get shot and still have a chance to live.  It was the only time in my life when I was actually glad to be carrying around more weight than I should.  I can remember making a mental assessment of all the fleshy spots on my body and thinking, I have lots of good places to get shot.  

At the same time that I was ready to relinquish my car and brace myself to be shot, I had this gnawing thought that my purse/camera bag was in the trunk and no matter how nicely I asked,  there was no way the car-jacker would allow me enough time to get in my trunk and get my camera before he drove off with my car.  The thought of him driving off with my brand new camera, pissed me off just enough to fight back.  HE WAS NOT GOING TO GET MY BRAND NEW CAMERA!  NO WAY!  I then realized that I didn't just have to take this.  I still had options.

I slammed my car door as much as I could. He was all up in my business, so I couldn't slam it shut completely, but I slammed it hard enough to startle him. He was still holding onto my door and ran after me a few steps as I floored it to get the heck out of there!

I drove a little ways and then stopped to see if he was still there.  I wondered if he was hurt or ran over as I drove away.  When  I stopped, I realized  I was still way too close to him and he could come running after me and kill me.  I drove a little further away, and although there's no way he could have run that fast to get me, I was still terrified that I was too close and he would come kill me.  I drove down the road even further, and pulled into the coffee shop where I knew I would be safe. They helped me to calm down enough to call the police.

Everything else happened perfectly.  The police captured and arrested the man and I had to drive down the road with the Police to identify the person.

I didn't know it at the time, but between what the 911 operator and police told me, and then a little blurb in the news paper the next day, I was able to figure out that people had already called 911 before I was able to stop to call police. The car-jacker had already robbed two other businesses and attempted to carjack another car before coming to my car. He must have been in the process of attempting to car-jack the SUV when I happened to pull up along side them.  Although I hadn't seen a gun, the police told me that other witnesses said the man had a gun, and they were going to search the area to see if they could recover the weapon. I never did find out if he actually had one.  To my brain, it didn't matter. I had to act and react as though he had a weapon and that's the fear my mind and body were responding to.

I was pretty "calm" during the incident. Perhaps I was too calm.  It took the thought of losing my brand new camera to give me just the kick I needed to have the courage to fight. After it was over and I was home safe, I pretty much lost it.

My body and mind went through hell in the hours and days following.  I was afraid that I was going to be too afraid to continue the project.  I decided that if I felt scared, I would just ask my friends and co-workers to be subjects for the next few days, or as long as I took me to work through the fear.

 

Day 222 - Michael

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This is Michael. We met at the store.  When I saw Michael, I could tell immediately that he was a sweet person and that everything was going to be fine.  I didn't want to let what happened the night before, prevent me from continuing this project. I love getting to meet people, and hope that together, we've been able to spread a little love and positivity.

"I really like my job," Michael answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.

When I asked Michael if he's recently performed an act of kindness, he smiled and told me that he had just done so, when he let me take his picture. Yes!

"To be a good person and hopefully leave a positive impact on the world," Michael answered, when I asked his life's purpose.

When I asked Michael something about himself which he would consider to be a success, he answered, "all of my friends."

When we were finished, I told Michael how much it meant to me that he had let me take his picture. I told him briefly about the night before, and that he was the first person I approached since the incident, and it gave me back the confidence to continue with the project.

Thank you, Michael!

 

Day 223 - Josh

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This is Josh.  We met at the park.

"Life is going well," Josh answered, when I asked the happiest thing happening in his life right now.

Josh's recent act of kindness is that he bought a plane ticket for someone so they could go visit friends they hadn't seen in a long time.

"To live," Josh answered, when I asked his life's purpose.

When I asked Josh something about himself which he would consider to be a success, he explained that he considers it to be a success that he's never done heroine, even though it was all around him.  So glad for Josh that he never fell into addiction.

Thank you,  Josh.

 

Here's the summary of the personal mission statements and life's purposes of the subjects from this week:

  • You are condemned by the way you condemn others.
  • To help people heal and live better in their day-to-day lives.
  • To allow myself to be the guide for others, whenever or wherever that situation may occur.
  • If there is a point, then do it to it's fullest. Live every moment like it's a work of art that you could do time and time again.
  • To be a good person and hopefully leave a positive impact on the world.
  • To live.

 

Thank you for following along!